SLOP SHOP

Let's spam the world.

Why make one good thing when you could make four million bad ones before lunch? Slop Shop is the content partner for brands who've stopped asking if anyone's watching.

Make slop now
As seen in your spam folder
100% human-free since Tuesday
Now with six fingers!

What we churn out

Every service is fully automated, endlessly scalable and reviewed by nobody.*

blogs_FINAL_v9999.exe

Infinite blogs

Ten thousand posts a day titled "Top 7 reasons". We've never made it past reason 4.

thought_leader.dll

Thought leadership

LinkedIn posts that open with "I cried in the boardroom today." You didn't. Nobody did.

stock_humans.jpg

Stock humans

Smiling teams pointing at laptops. Finger count not guaranteed. Teeth count also not guaranteed.

reviews_real.txt

Synthetic testimonials

Glowing words from Jennifer B., who loves your brand. And every other brand. Simultaneously.

video(1)(1)(2).mp4

Video, technically

Faces start melting at 0:04. We call that a pattern interrupt.

seo_soup.html

SEO soup

Keyword density so high it's legally classed as a solid. Best kettle 2027 best kettle 2027 best kettle.

*This sentence was generated. So was this one. We're not sure about this one.

Our process

Refined over literally minutes.

  1. You send us a brief.
  2. We read the brief.
  3. We generate 40,000 variations.
  4. We pick the first one.
  5. Invoice.

The Slop-o-matic 3000

Try it free. Type in any brand and watch the internet get a little bit worse.

SLOP-O-MATIC 3000 (Not Responding)
Industrial
Awaiting your brand. The internet is holding its breath.
Words generated here that nobody will read: 0

Engine: in-house slop.

Pricing

Cheaper than thinking.

Drizzle

£9 / month

  • 500 posts a month
  • One brand voice (beige)
  • Typos included free
  • Facts
Most pointless

Firehose

£99 / month

  • Unlimited posts
  • Auto-replies to your own posts
  • Hashtags we made up
  • Anyone reading

Landfill

Call us (we won't answer)

  • Content on every surface on Earth
  • Dedicated server farm (drains one lake)
  • Weekly rebrand
  • Shame

Results we're contractually proud of

Client names changed to protect the guilty.

Kettle Kingdom

We published 4.2 million pages titled "Best kettle 2027". Every one of them ranks for something. None of them mention a kettle.

▲ 4,200,000 pages▼ 3 kettles soldPages read: 3 (it was us)

Dave, Croydon

A personal brand overhaul. 912 LinkedIn posts overnight. Dave is now Chief Visionary Officer of himself.

▲ 4 new followersAll 4 are botsOne of them is also Dave

A Leading Bank™

A full rebrand in 11 seconds. The logo is now a gradient. The gradient is now the logo. Customers are confused but engaged.

▲ 3,000% impressions▼ 100% meaningAward: Most Content, 2027

Five stars. We think.

★★★★★

"Great content. Great content. Great content. Great content."

Satisfied Customer (bot #4412)
★★★★★

"I don't know what it is, but there's so much of it."

Marketing Director, probably
★★★★★

"My mum shared it."

Founder, Series A